Pot Lady
MIAMI — “Luisa, welcome to the Paul and Young Ron Show,” said the radio announcer as he answered a call. And that call would be the most transcendental in the history of the program, broadcast every morning, Monday through Friday, by Miami’s Classic Rock station, Big 105.9.
But at that hour of the morning neither its hosts, Paul Castronovo and Young Ron Brewer, nor the handful of sleepy-eyed listeners on our way to work could even imagine it.
“You know something?” the woman said. “Listening to you talk, I have to recognize how concerned and disinterested you are.”
“Thanks,” answered Paul, flattered.
“You were talking about mari-juana,” she went on, separating the word like that, slowly, as if savoring a good joint. “It’s incredible. I’ve been listening to the two of you for a long time now, and when you say stupid and idiotic things I simply ignore you.
“But as I hear you this morning, promoting marijuana, I think I’ve had enough and must ask you to stop.”
Yes, you guessed it, that day’s program dealt with marijuana. But the announcers were not advocating its use, much less selling it, as the nice lady implied. They were simply commenting about the use of marijuana for medicinal purposes.
That’s a topic that’s timely, because Florida voters will have to decide, next November, if they approve (or not) Amendment Two, a referendum that would legalize the prescription of Cannabis sativa for the treatment of diseases such as cancer, epilepsy, glaucoma, neuropathy or multiple sclerosis. That’s what Paul and Young Ron tried to explain to the angry listener.
“No,” she interrupted them, forcing them to listen. “It is not medicinal marijuana, it is a drug. And everybody knows, it’s a proven fact, that marijuana is a gateway drug. Look at the research cases. Do you even know the meaning of ‘gateway drug’ or has the drug affected your brain so?”
My brain must be half dead, I thought, because I still don’t understand what she was talking about.
“Ma’am,” said Young, softly. “It is a proven fact that medicinal marijuana has benefited many people, young and old.”
The woman’s shouts did not allow him to finish. What started as a conversation became a hilarious circus. She shouted, Paul and Young tried to quiet her down, barely controlling their laughter, and us listeners laughed with the nervous morbidity that this kind of live situation elicits.
The truth is that we were lucky that morning. We heard one of the few people who oppose the legalization of medicinal marijuana in Florida. According to the latest polls, about 88 percent of registered voters are in favor of it, something unusual in a state that’s traditionally more conservative than the worst ultraconservative, i.e., Ronald Reagan.
That morning, Luisa lost her name. The listeners dubbed her “the Pot Lady” or “the angry Anti-Pot Lady,” and her call generated many others. Almost all phoned in to mock the woman but some did it to share their own experiences or that of close relatives whose illnesses, mostly incurable, had been alleviated by using cannabis.
And the truth is that, although not enough is known about all the possible effects — as happens with so many other medicines that circulate freely in the market — it has been shown that one of marijuana’s non-psychotropic components, cannabiol (CBD), helps to counteract systems such as intense pain, convulsions, inflammation, cough and nausea.
It also inhibits the growth of cancer-producing cells and psychiatric ills such as anxiety, depression and psychosis.
Where other products have failed, marijuana has succeeded. Partly for that reason, it has become very popular, beyond its undeniable success in the concerts and parties, which is what seems to worry everybody.
For that reason, the Florida Senate last May passed, 30 votes to 9, a bill approving the restricted use of medicinal marijuana. The approved strain, known as Charlotte’s Web, contains very low levels of tetrahydrocannabidol (THC), the drug’s psychoactive component, and normal levels of CBD.
The patients will apply it as a cream or breathe it through an inhaler but will not smoke it. That and other strains will be studied only if they vote in favor of Amendment Two in November.
Signing the new law, Florida Governor Rick Scott (who until recently opposed the measure), said: “As a father and grandfather, you never want to see kids suffer. The approval of Charlotte’s Web will ensure that children in Florida who suffer from seizures and other debilitating illnesses will have the medication needed to improve their quality of life.”
Thus, as the midterm elections loom ahead, Florida became the 22nd state of the Union to authorize the use of medicinal marijuana. Other states, like Washington and Colorado, have already approved its recreational use, but that’s another story.
Let’s take it easy, lest the Pot Lady gets all shook up and tells us what she advised Paul and Young that January morning: “Why don’t you shut up and play some music? Druggies like you like music; intelligent people like me, like it too. That way, we’ll all be happy. So long, druggies, s’long.” And she hung up.
