Lie-clocks in heaven

A
man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the
Pearly Gates he saw a huge row of clocks behind him, and he asked:
“What are all those clocks?”

St. Peter answered: “Those
are lie-clocks. Everyone on Earth has a lie-clock. Every time
you lie, the hands will move.”

“Oh,”
said the man. “And whose clock is that?”

“That’s
Nelson Mandela’s. The hands have never moved; indicating that he
never told a lie.”

“Incredible,”
said the man. “And whose clock is that one?”

“That’s
Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice; telling us
that Abe only told two lies in his entire life.”

“Where’s
Bush’s clock?” asked the man.

St.
Peter responded: “Bush’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s
using it as a ceiling fan.”