Piggies

By Alvaro F. Fernandez

The piggies are back. Well, they never really left. They live disguised as civic-minded businessmen and politicians. You see them garbed impeccably in blue suits and black dresses. They drive expensive cars and SUV’s. They give to United Way. And at holiday season they even hand out toys – a sort of mea culpa to the children too many of them help to deprive.

These impatient piggies are after our tax dollars, which they treat as money to use as they please. They tried in 2010. But Miami had just spent hundreds of millions on the Marlins and taxpayers weren’t happy.

But they’re pigs. And as pigs, they can’t help themselves. Their loud oinks of lust unmask their well-coiffed depravity. They want our money!

I’m not surprised. Down the line what would surprise me is if they don’t get what they want. That’s unless we start organizing as citizens against these bastards. 

Monday (Jan. 14) morning I woke up to a large, front page Miami Herald headline that said: Dolphins pushing $400M stadium revamp. Logically, their plan kicks off a couple of months before the start of the Florida legislative session in Tallahassee. Politicians will play a key role in getting them what they want. Later that same day, the Herald internet edition explained that “The Miami Dolphins unveiled a roughly $400 million renovation plan of Sun Life Stadium on Monday, and asked taxpayers to fund up to half of the project.”

How generous of Dolphins owner Stephen Ross to pick up half the tab. This guy spent more than a billion dollars to buy this football team. For more than a decade now, the Dolphins have been terrible. Ross’ investment is these days worth closer to a half billion than the billion he paid. How can he make up for the loss?

A revamped stadium with partial roof, a redesign of the seating configuration that would allow him higher ticket prices and “shifting capacity from the low-priced seats in the upper deck to the more expensive seating closer to the sidelines” would go a long way in helping to offset some of Ross’ losses. As for him paying half the tab… all I’ll say is remember Jeffrey Loria and the Miami Marlins.

Folks, these guys did not become obscenely wealthy by giving away their money. They’re in this game to make money. And if they have to break our piggy banks into a million little pieces, so be it. If that money should have gone towards education, a better health care system or a badly decaying sewer system, the Stephen Rosses of the world feel that it’s more important for Miami to show off a shiny new, revamped football stadium so that the National Football League (NFL) will indulge us with another Super Bowl. Along the way, of course, Stephen Ross and his minions will rake in more millions.

What you’ll hear

First and this is getting old already, the paid off politicians and bureaucrats will tell us that the tax sources come from funds that are not meant for education, health care or even the sewer system. If there is a journalist worth his weight he or she should ask if the funding source (our tax dollars) was then meant to subsidize billionaires so that they may become multi-billionaires. 

Then you’ll hear that the stadium refurbishing will help revitalize the area economically and create jobs and a bunch of other malarkey. I say, go check out the truth behind the new Miami baseball stadium. Ask the residents if they’ve seen the improvements? Where are the new jobs promised?

Here’s another one: the NFL is threatening to not return the Super Bowl to Miami until the stadium is renewed, and that includes a roof. It turns out that of the 10 Super Bowls played in Miami, the last one experienced a bad storm and the fans were rained on.

I say call their bluff. I’ll take Miami weather in January – in spite of the one out of the ordinary rainstorm – to New York, Minnesota, Denver, Detroit or whatever other place in the country. And that includes warmer weather cities like New Orleans, Atlanta and Jacksonville. By the way, the NFL makes money hand over fist. Billions: money we spend to watch them kill themselves with concussions. Let them help pay for the new roof they want…

As for the community leaders, politicians and the chamber of commerce types that will line up and push this $400 million Dolphins stadium project… Most who do so will have accepted money from the Dolphins. Guaranteed. It’s how this game is played.

As Miamians it’s time we told Stephen Ross and the rest of them to get their priorities straight. And in our case and when it comes to our money that does not include a new roof for a football stadium.