McCain masters command of Bush-speak

By Weekly Archive On Jul 30, 2008

Ever
since it became clear that John McCain would be this year’s
Republican nominee, reporters wrestled with a serious decision. In
covering the campaign, should they or should they not reference his
age?

In
the end, McCain let them off the hook. They didn’t have to decide,
after all. Through an unending series of gaffes, McCain did it for
them.

As
first reported on Politico.com by Mike Allen and Jim VandeHei, in the
past few weeks John McCain has stumbled verbally from one
embarrassing misstatement to the other. Most recently, for example,
he told ABC’s Diane Sawyer that the situation in Afghanistan was
still very serious. "I’m afraid it’s a very hard struggle,"
McCain acknowledged, particularly given the situation on the
Iraq/Pakistan border."

Oops!
There’s only one problem. There is no Iraq/Pakistan border. Fifteen
hundred miles separate Islamabad and Baghdad, the capitals of the two
countries. Not only that, one important piece of real estate lies
between Iraq and Pakistan. It’s called Iran.

But
that’s just the latest McCain malapropism. On his last visit to Iraq,
he famously confused Shiites and Sunnis, until corrected by sidekick
Joe Lieberman. On Fox News, Brit Hume didn’t exactly help McCain by
excusing this slip of the tongue as a "senior moment."
McCain also bragged about getting the number of American troops down
to "pre-surge levels," when in fact there are 20,000 more
troops in Iraq than when the surge began.

And
still, that’s just the beginning of McCain’s verbal pratfalls. On
June 30, while discussing Darfur, he asked: "How can we bring
pressure on the government of Somalia?" Darfur is actually in
Sudan. Three times recently, he talked about the importance of U.S.
relations with Czechoslovakia, which was broken up into Slovakia and
the Czech Republic, way back in January 1993. And he stunned
reporters by telling them what a great conversation he’d enjoyed with
President Vladimir Putin of Germany!

McCain
can’t even get his football teams straight. Earlier this month,
speaking of his time spent as a prisoner of war in Vietnam, he talked
of trying to confuse his captors by giving them the names of the
starting lineup of the Pittsburgh Steelers when asked to identify his
squadron mates. This is a story McCain has told many times over his
years as a candidate. But, before, he always correctly identified the
names of players he gave his captors as players for the Green Bay
Packers.

The
McCain campaign insists these gaffes are no big deal, simply the
inevitable result of McCain’s making himself available to reporters
from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. every day. But when you add them all up, they
are a big deal — especially for a candidate who will be 72-years-old
next month. The more McCain talks in this campaign, the more he
reminds us of that senile uncle who falls asleep in his mashed
potatoes at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Or
the more he reminds us of candidate George W. Bush. In 2000, it was
Bush who promised to maintain "good relations with the
Grecians." While admitting he couldn’t find Kosovo on the map,
he said he nevertheless looked forward to the day when "Kosovians
can move back" into their homes. And foreshadowing later
confusion by John McCain, he confessed to a Slovak journalist: "The
only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned firsthand from
your foreign minister who came to Texas." Bush obviously didn’t
learn much. His meeting had actually been with the foreign minister
of Slovenia.

Who
could have predicted this turn of events? When Barack Obama accuses
John McCain of promising nothing more than a third term of George W.
Bush, we thought he was talking about continuing Bush’s failed
policies. Little did we realize he was also talking about McCain’s
continuing Bush’s tortured abuse of the English language.

McCain-speak
is even less forgivable than Bush-speak. Everyone knew Bush was a
total virgin on foreign policy. But McCain’s primary qualification is
supposed to be his experience.

One
thing for sure: Reporters won’t have to worry anymore about whether
or not to make John McCain’s age an issue in this campaign. He’s
doing a fine job of it all by himself.

Bill
Press is host of a nationally syndicated radio show and author of a
new book, "Train
Wreck: The End of the Conservative Revolution (and Not a Moment Too
Soon)."
You can hear "The Bill Press Show" at his Web site:
billpressshow.com. His email address is: bill@billpress.com.