Cuban voices during the pandemic: Daniela Fernández

Where to now?

I don’t know how everyone is living. It depends a lot on the economic situation, family members, the housing that people have, even the country where they are and the measures taken there. I personally was quarantined with my partner which upset all the plans we had, individually in fact. That led us to create plans together for the first time since we began our relationship. Yes, we had plans, but in the long term, not on such a specific level. Now, after this, we have become family.

I lost my scholarship during this process. I lost the possibility of making my first documentary project, and that has made me rethink a lot of things about what I have been living, the hours I have spent working, the place where I am. Why do I keep working here so much, wasting hours to pay the rent, if in the end this is not where I really want to be? It is very hard for a Cuban who leaves his country to consider, one who saved a lot to leave, has spent two years abroad, and still does not see herself returning to Cuba … but, where do I go now? It is very complicated. Even more when your partner is going through the same thing. He left Argentina to be a musician here and that will not be possible now. Also, I did not like the school where I was studying, not the subject matter, but the school itself. It’s really screwed up to realize that all the goals and plans you make for yourself can go to hell so easily. It is then time to start creating new plans, new paths.

The quarantine, at least in Spain, has also made me brutally aware of my status as a migrant, and of the treatment that is given to the migrant —not the foreigner— regardless of the visa you have. This situation has brought out a very strong feeling of nationalism in this country, and the public policies undertaken are directed only at Spaniards. But it is like trying to cover the sun with a finger, because in Spain there are many people who live here illegally, who work without papers, and all these policies leave these people aside: the lady who cleans, all the outsourced workers, those who have an unknown status, who do not even pay social security. I have been watching all the political meetings and conferences and at no time has the migrant situation been mentioned here; it is as if we did not exist. With my student visa, I have no right to ask the government for help, of any kind. And this, in a climate of so much uncertainty and without family to go to, makes you feel very frustrated, very lonely. That… I think is what has shocked me the most because it does not depend on me.

It makes me feel like going home, to feel part of something, regardless of the things I agree with or not.

Based on all of this, we have decided to restart our life in another country, whenever that is possible. It is a crippling situation. But it’s what I’ve learned from this situation: that things can change very abruptly in a short period of time. And also that the government of Spain has made very bad decisions when it comes to its migrants, a population that exists and is extremely important for the economic and social development of the country. A community as vast as it is diverse, which is once again put aside.

Daniela Fernández, 24, is a postgraduate student in Audiovisual Production in Barcelona, Spain.