“I quit, but I’m not a quitter’

By Weekly Archive On Jul 16, 2009

By Bill Press

“It’s one of the most brilliant political moves ever. It shows she’s not just your typical, run-of-the-mill politician. It will help her raise money. And it immediately catapults her into the position of Republican front-runner for 2012.”

That’s what her defenders are saying about Sarah Palin’s abrupt decision to resign, only two and a half years into her first term as governor of Alaska. She’s like Richard Nixon, they insist, who resigned from politics and was later elected president.

Nonsense. They’re all as delusional as she is. They forget that, before he momentarily stepped aside, Nixon had already served as congressman, senator, and vice-president — and he didn’t quit halfway through any job, either.

There’s no way to spin Sarah Palin’s unusual move as anything other than a total political disaster; the worst political disaster, in fact, since John McCain picked her as his running mate.

Let’s be honest. Palin was a long shot for 2012, anyway. But at least, she had a shot. She’d start out with great name recognition. With Mark Sanford, John Ensign, Jon Huntsman and others taking themselves out of the race, for whatever reason, she’d have less competition. And, after spending one term as governor and boning up on the issues, she’d have some kind of record to run on.

But now she has no platform at all. Except that of former beauty queen, former mayor of Wasilla (population 10,000), and former surprise and disastrous candidate for vice-president — with not one original thought to her name. Seriously, how dumb does she think Republicans are?

Palin does have one claim to fame: She makes George W. Bush sound articulate. Which is hard to do.

Her interview with Charlie Gibson was strange enough: “You can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska.” But it was topped by her resignation announcement, carried live on national television from her back yard, in front of a gaggle of next-door neighbors and incessantly honking Canada geese. Having decided not to seek re-election in 2010, she figured she might as well quit now: “I thought about how much fun some governors have as lame ducks… travel around the state, to the Lower 48 (maybe), overseas on international trade — as so many politicians do,” she explained. “And then I thought — that’s what’s wrong — many just accept that lame duck status, hit the road, draw the paycheck, and ‘milk it’.”

But, of course, most “lame duck” politicians actually continue doing their jobs. By Palin’s twisted logic, as soon as President Bush took the oath of office for a second term, he should have resigned immediately rather than waste taxpayer dollars as a lame duck president.

Palin continued her rambling gobbledygook in a series of interviews she gave the next morning — in waders! — before hopping on to the First Dude’s fishing boat. Having just quit her job as governor 24 hours earlier, she said she was answering a “higher calling” and told CNN: “I’m certainly not a quitter, I’m a fighter.”

And that’s what passes for logic in Sarah Land: She quits, but she’s not a quitter. She takes a big step backward, but she’s actually going forward. And she loves Alaska more than anything else, but she can’t wait to get the heck out of there.

No need to feel sorry for Sarah Palin, though. There’s more than fishing, dog sledding, or shooting wolves from helicopters in her future. She already has a lucrative book deal. She’ll rake in at least $50K a pop, giving speeches. And, for a while, she’ll still draw crowds and help raise money at Republican fundraisers around the country.

But, politically, Palin’s not a lame duck. She’s a dead duck. She can forget about running for president in 2012. Even the Republican Party, as bereft as it is of ideas, will want someone with more substance at the top of the ticket, someone with a record of accomplishment. Sarah Palin offers neither substance nor accomplishment. She can’t even handle the pressure of being governor of Alaska. How could she handle the pressure of being president of the United States?

From start to finish, Sarah Palin’s performance on the national stage has been one strange moment after another. The best you can say about her latest bombshell is that it’s the perfect, bizarre end to a brief, but bizarre, political career. You betcha!

Bill Press is host of a nationally syndicated radio show and author of a new book, “Train Wreck: The End of the Conservative Revolution (and Not a Moment Too Soon).” You can hear “The Bill Press Show” at his Web site: billpressshow.com. His email address is: bill@billpress.com.