A father’s words of sorrow and grief
The father’s words could not have been more pointed or poignant nor the message any clearer: Stop using our daughter’s tragic death as a rallying cry for racism.
In an extraordinary, blunt opinion piece in the Des Moines Register, Rob Tibbets, the father of murdered Iowa student Mollie Tibbets, wrote: “We learned ten days ago, that Mollie would not be coming home. Shattered, my family set out to celebrate Mollie’s extraordinary life and chose to share our sorrow in private.”
Tibbets was appalled when he realized that pundits and politicians were using the young woman’s murder—allegedly by a Mexican immigrant—to advance an anti-immigrant political agenda. Various members of the Tibbets family asked them to desist.
“Many graciously complied,” Tibbets explained, then added: “Sadly, others have ignored our request. They have instead chosen to callously distort and corrupt Mollie’s tragic death to advance a cause she vehemently opposed. I encourage the debate on immigration; there is great merit in its reasonable outcome. But do not appropriate Mollie’s soul in advancing views she believed were profoundly racist. The act grievously extends the crime that stole Mollie from our family and is, to quote Donald Trump Jr., ‘heartless’ and ‘despicable.’”
Tibbets was responding to the lightning-fast effort by immigrant bashers to exploit the Tibbets’ family unimaginable loss to bolster their case. The AP reported that
“President Trump and other conservatives quickly cited the arrest of Mr. Rivera, who worked on a farm owned by a prominent Republican family, as proof of the flawed immigration system and lax border security the president has long warned about.”
In his OP/ED, Tibbets wrote in response: “Make no mistake, Mollie was my daughter and my best friend. At her eulogy, I said Mollie was nobody’s victim. Nor is she a pawn in others’ debate. She may not be able to speak for herself, but I can and will. Please leave us out of your debate. Allow us to grieve in privacy and with dignity. At long last, show some decency. On behalf of my family and Mollie’s memory, I’m imploring you to stop.”
Rob Tibbets’ extraordinary grace and generosity, amid his sorrow and grief, is a shining testimonial to the basic decency and fairness that characterizes the majority of the American people. It stands in stark contrast to the spirit of the current administration, the utter lack of decency the president displays hourly, whether it is speaking to the widow of an American soldier, constantly insulting and demeaning his own attorney-general, or referring to the catastrophe in Puerto Rico, in which as many people died as on 9-11, as not “a real disaster.”
In the face of the moral abyss to which this administration has descended and into which it continually attempts to drag the whole nation, it is easy to question whether those “better angels” of our souls really exist. The dignity of Rob Tibbets embodies those better angels. His words are worth quoting at length.
“Throughout this ordeal I’ve asked myself, “What would Mollie do?” As I write this, I am watching Sen. John McCain lie in state in the Capitol Rotunda and know that evil will succeed only if good people do nothing. Both Mollie and Senator McCain were good people. I know that both would stand up now and do something.
“The person who is accused of taking Mollie’s life is no more a reflection of the Hispanic community as white supremacists are of all white people. To suggest otherwise is a lie. Justice in my America is blind. This person will receive a fair trial, as it should be. If convicted, he will face the consequences society has set. Beyond that, he deserves no more attention.
“To the Hispanic community, my family stands with you and offers its heartfelt apology. That you’ve been beset by the circumstances of Mollie’s death is wrong. We treasure the contribution you bring to the American tapestry in all its color and melody. And yes, we love your food.
“My stepdaughter, whom Mollie loved so dearly, is Latina. Her sons — Mollie’s cherished nephews and my grandchildren — are Latino. That means I am Hispanic. I am African. I am Asian. I am European. My blood runs from every corner of the Earth because I am American. As an American, I have one tenet: to respect every citizen of the world and actively engage in the ongoing pursuit to form a more perfect union.
“Given that, to knowingly foment discord among races is a disgrace to our flag. It incites fear in innocent communities and lends legitimacy to the darkest, most hate-filled corners of the American soul. It is the opposite of leadership. It is the opposite of humanity. It is heartless. It is despicable. It is shameful.”
